My Views on Abortion

When I learned the news of the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, like millions of Americans, I was in shock and disbelief. It has taken me over a week to process my emotions about this sensitive issue that impacts every single woman in America.

I write military fiction about a female character who is a prisoner and raped for fifteen years and forced to give birth to eight children in captivity. Although Always Forward is fictional, women worldwide have been in situations like Emily Sanders. I would be remiss if I did not use my platform to share my views on abortion and what we can do during a time when we all may feel helpless.

WARNING this next section may be challenging to read and trigger strong emotional responses. Please read with your discretion.

I attended a Catholic High School and was raised in a typical Catholic family. No one taught me about sexual traumas or anything sex-related. The only thing I was taught was that if you had sex before marriage, you were a sinner, and if you had an abortion, you had a one-way ticket to hell.

When I was in high school, I was sexually assaulted by two football players. They raped me, and I never reported them because of my upbringing and who they were. For several weeks after the rape, I was terrified of people finding out and becoming pregnant. I knew I couldn’t tell my parents or friends, already feeling the typical shame that it was my fault.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and found a Planned Parenthood in my town. The staff did not judge me, call me a whore, or tell me I was going to hell. They walked me through my options and allowed me to take a pregnancy test to confirm that I was not pregnant. They did not stop there. They educated me on safe sex, gave me a supply of birth control, and most importantly, told me I was worthy. They offered to help me file a police report, but I ultimately decided not to press charges. Weeks had already passed, there was no evidence, and no one would have believed me. (Remember, this was in the 90s, long before women empowerment and the #metoo movement. I honestly thought I was the one in the wrong.)

At about the same time, I was taking a deep breath of relief over not being impregnated by these two monsters; they had begun to tell all their buddies about the girl they had tag-teamed. At school, I was harassed, called a whore, hoe, and slut. Someone carved HOE into my locker door. I was called down to the principal’s office and lectured about being promiscuous and how I needed to repent. And that boys will be boys, and they are good football players, and I knew what I was getting into when I chose to go out with them.

I was ashamed and embarrassed about my sexual assault for years. I tried so hard to tuck those memories away forever. But they will always be with me. I remember the way my rapists smelled, what they sounded like, and the pain during and afterward.

I am sharing this story of what happened to me, not for pity but for awareness. Thousands of women and girls have similar or worse stories like mine. We are wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, co-workers, and friends. We are sexual assault survivors, and many live with this silently because of the stigma of rape and abortion in our society. I did not have to have an abortion but had I been pregnant at 14; I would have had one in a heartbeat. No girl or woman should ever have their right to choose taken away from them.

It may feel hopeless right now, but there are ways to make forward progress.

Get involved. If you live in a state where abortion is illegal, find your local Democrat offices and see if they have petitions to sign for upcoming ballots. If it is still legal in your state, still do your research. I live in a state where it is legal, but there are concerns that it will overturn this fall. I signed two petitions to aid in ensuring that abortion rights be written directly into the state constitution.

Peacefully protest. We all have the right to freedom of speech and to protest. But please protest peacefully and respectfully. Violence is not the answer. If you have a platform to speak out, use it. We need as many advocates as we can get.

Donate. There are many non-profit organizations like Planned Parenthood that rely on donations so they can continue to help girls and women get the care they need. It’s not only about abortions. It’s also about education, birth control options, and more. But it takes money to ensure they can give out the services needed. Every penny counts.

Volunteer. You can volunteer if you want to play a large part in the fight. Clinics need volunteers to help escort patients into the clinics safely, drive them home, assist with daily operations, and more.

The overturning of Roe vs. Wade impacts daughters, wives, mothers, sisters, co-workers, and friends in every facet of your life. If men can choose to rape a woman, then we must have the choice of what happens next. I refuse to stand by and watch our nation fall back on how women are treated. I refuse to have my daughters live in a country where they do not have complete control over their bodies.