My Sweet Sajar

Earlier this year, my family had to say goodbye to two of our three beloved dogs in 30 days. If you follow my social media, then you may recall our 23-year-old min-pin poodle mix, Nappy. Nappy was my CFO for my book business, but if I'm being honest, she was the CEO of our home. She lived an outstanding life, and although it was challenging to decide to say goodbye, as a family, we knew it was the right choice to make for her. It gets to a point with senior dogs where one has to think about their quality of life. Unfortunately, Nappy's quality of life was rapidly declining.

 Although it was a heartbreaking decision to make, as a family, we all came to terms with saying goodbye. Little did we know that almost exactly one month later, we would have to say goodbye to Sajar, our 11-year-old blue heeler.

 Now, if you are new here, let me tell you about Sajar. Sajar came into our life in a whirlwind.... or maybe tornado is a better word! We had no experience with Australian Cattle Dogs, aka Blue Heelers, and it showed! But Sajar quickly stole all of our hearts, and he taught us not only how to be a responsible heeler family, but he also taught us how to heal.

 Even though Sajar was our family dog, he and I had a special bond. He was my soul dog. He ran countless miles with me, on city roads, country dirt roads, and trails. He was there for me through some of my darkest PTSD moments. I would lovingly call him my 'homeschooled service dog' because he always could sense when my anxiety or depression was kicking in.

 His death was sudden and tragic. He went in for a routine procedure, and two days later, he passed away from late-stage liver cancer. He never showed any symptoms, nor had any irregular bloodwork.

 It's been five months since his passing, and his loss hurts just as much today as it did the day I held him in my arms and said goodbye.

 To say I've struggled is an understatement. Our entire family has struggled, but we do our best to keep going for Stella, Sajar's little blue heeler sister.

 The main way I have coped with his passing is through writing. For the first month he was gone, I wrote a letter to him every day. I recounted old stories and told him how Stella was doing without him. It made me realize how many lessons in life he taught me and others.

 Then, for his birthday month of July, I challenged myself to write more stories about him. But this time with more structure. I wrote 31 short stories and life lessons from my heeler. My goal is to create a journal-like book where each chapter will be a lesson and a tale from Sajar, and then an area for the reader to reflect.

I hope that Sajar's memory can live on and he can continue to help others even from across the Rainbow Bridge.