Just My Opinion

In light of the recent events in Afghanistan, several family and friends have reached out to check in with my partner and me, as well as to ask my opinion on what's been unfolding over the last few days.

First, this is only my opinion. Take it for what it is worth. I am not a politician, nor am I a military strategist. I am simply a former non-commissioned officer (NCO) who served in one combat operation in Iraq and the spouse of a current NCO who served in Afghanistan.

I want to begin with this statement: the current state of affairs in Afghanistan is heartbreaking. It is heartbreaking to witness thousands of innocent civilians voluntarily exile themselves because they see no hope in living in a country run by the Taliban. It is heartbreaking to know that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of interpreters and Afghan military personnel who may not have gotten out and will now be in terrible danger. Because even though we are making it about us, about how this was a waste of twenty years, I want to stress that this is about the Afghan civilians who are now refugees in a foreign land. This is about the young girls and young women that are left behind in Afghanistan and now will not be able to receive an education. This is about the families that I am sure have been separated while getting on flights, and for those that were desperate enough to hang on to a plane taking off, only to plummet to their deaths.

This is about all of them.

I will admit, when I first read about the fall of the government a few days ago, my initial thoughts on the subject were that I was not shocked by how easily the Taliban were taking control of the country. That was my defense mechanism, what I like to call my ‘whatever attitude,’ which I tend to use to block out feelings and emotions. I don't recommend using this tactic, as it is not a healthy coping mechanism. But after years of dealing with PTSD, while also being a military spouse, I have unfortunately created both positive and negative coping mechanisms.

After my ‘whatever attitude’ wore off and I began to learn more about what was happening, I was taken back to the day my partner left for his deployment to Afghanistan. The horrible feeling of doom in my gut wouldn’t shake for days. Even though I had been in Iraq, I knew what he was heading into for his deployment to Afghanistan. I remembered all the days and months of being mom and dad to our daughters, and every time my phone rang, or someone came to the house, my first thought was always, ‘please do not let this be the call to let me know I am a widow’.

But we were one of the fortunate families to have had both parents serve in combat and return home. Thousands of families have not had that luxury. And as my memories of his deployment faded, my heart began to break for every single U.S. military person’s family that is relegated to being a Gold Star Family.

Were these last twenty years worth all the sacrifices? Were all the lives lost worth it, just to see the Taliban take control of the entire country?

I can’t speak for others, but for me, the answer is yes. When I raised my right hand and swore the oath to protect and defend this country, I took that oath seriously. When I enlisted, I was 17 years old, and no wars were going on (circa 1998). Yet I still understood the severity of what I was swearing to do. And as the years went on, my love for my country only grew as I forged bonds with my fellow brothers and sisters in arms. For me, going into combat was not about the war itself. It was about serving and protecting my fellow soldiers and defending my country to ensure that another tragic day like 9/11 would not happen again.

So yes, even though the country of Afghanistan has fallen into the hands of the Taliban, and the longest American War has been declared over, I do not think that all those lives lost were in vain.

In the words of General George Patton Jr.: “It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived.”

If you are a soldier, veteran, or family member having a difficult time coping with what is happening, help is available. The Military Crisis Line is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Please call 1-800-273-8255 or text 838255.