It's Been a Minute

It occurred to me over the weekend that I have not written a new blog in a while. I argued with myself, saying- “No, I definitely have written a blog this year.” So, because I am a true Virgo, I looked up my blog history and sure enough, I haven’t written a blog since December of last year.

I have been so focused on completing book four and dealing with life that my blog series somehow slipped to the back burner, and then completely off the stove altogether. I go through phases of creative energy. So far in 2023, it's been a feat just to finish writing book four, Left Behind. Anything else has been a struggle, to say the least.

When I first set out on this writing journey, I promised myself that I would always keep it real. I mean, my platform is coping with mental health as a veteran. So here I am, being fully transparent, because no one wants to witness yet another fake person on social media.

Life has been tough this year. I started the year out with another round of illness that literally knocked me to my knees. After battling with eight weeks of bronchitis and pneumonia last fall, getting sick again was not on the agenda. This round, though, left me with no creative energy. I spent most of January on the couch binge-watching The Walking Dead, because when you feel like a zombie, you might as well watch them too.

Since recovering, my family and community have taken several losses of human life. And although I know that none of us are making it out of this world alive, death is still extremely difficult. Somehow, while trying to cope with the losses, I pushed through to finish Left Behind. I told myself that my family member that passed would talk crap about me if I didn’t suck it up and finish the damn book. So, I did just that.

Once March came, the losses stopped, and my health started to mend. My family and I decided to take a relaxing vacation, and I told myself this is it. This is when my creative juices will begin to flow again. But as we were wrapping up our trip, I received news that my mother had another stroke.

I share all of this not for pity, but to show that we all go through bad days, weeks, months, and even years. I am trying not to let the depression win, but managing so many losses and tragedies within the first four months of the year has been a lot to deal with. We all try to be strong for ourselves and those around us. We try to put on the best life on social media, but that isn’t real. Real life isn’t perfect. If anything, it’s perfectly imperfect. Real life is full of hopes and dreams, and soul-crushing devastation. Yes, we have to be strong, but even when you are strong, you can ask for help and be open with others.

So even though I have no creative energy in me right now, I am committed to getting back into the habit of writing every day. I am committed to pushing through this bout of depression, because the only way to go is Always Forward.